Commentary: Why some seniors’ expectations of care by their children have changed and what this means for an ageing Singapore

Singapore is one of the fastest-ageing societies in the world. By 2030, one in four Singaporeans will be over 65 years of age. 

One of the main concerns and challenges associated with an ageing population is how families can fulfil eldercare needs adequately, and the ways in which caregivers can be supported so that the care responsibilities are not too much to bear. 

The Many Helping Hands approach has been pivotal in connecting voluntary welfare organisations, charities, and communities to support families that face difficulties in caring for their older members. 

Recently, more attention is also being paid to the challenges faced by family caregivers of seniors, persons living with mental health conditions or disabilities, and how the state and various organisations can provide more practical and emotional forms of support. 

However, within these ongoing conversations on caregiving for older family members, the views of the elderly themselves tend to be muted. There is less recognition of the extent to which older people find ways to address their own care needs, and how they try to avoid being a “burden” on family members. 

WHAT’S BEHIND CHANGING MINDSETS?

A study conducted by Lien Foundation and NTUC Income in 2016 with 998 participants who are mostly Singaporean between the ages of 35-75 years showed that 78 per cent of them preferred to live alone or with spouses in their own homes. 

Looking deeper into the care relations between older parents and their children, a 2022 study published in Social Science & Medicine notes that receiving financial support and assistance with housework from family members has the potential to reduce older adults’ sense of being in control of their lives. 

For adult-children, providing such support is an expression of fulfilling a filial obligation — but for elderly parents, it may generate feelings of guilt and shame about being reliant on family members and lacking independence. 

For ageing parents, child-provided social support may not always improve their quality of life.

This paradox signals the need to answer two complex and multifaceted questions: What type of intergenerational reciprocity is truly desired by older Singaporeans? What are the emotional aspects of care that we need to be more sensitive to?

Researchers from the Department of Geography at the National University of Singapore (NUS) address this question through the context of families with at least one adult-child living overseas. Through in-depth interviews, the 2022 study revealed that failed expectations of care are rarely conveyed directly to children. 

Further, most older Singaporeans participating in the study did not imagine a future where they would live with their adult-child, even if their healthcare needs should intensify. Instead, they envisioned a future with regular visits from their children, and direct or indirect forms of financial assistance (for example, funds with which to employ a domestic helper).

While filial piety remains a cornerstone of Singapore society, we need to acknowledge that as citizens of a global city, certain groups of older people would be well educated and/or well travelled, giving them increased exposure to various ideas and types of intergenerational relations and dynamics. 

SENSE OF INDEPENDENCE

As a result, many older Singaporeans may have developed perceptions about filial piety, intergenerational reciprocity, and their sense of independence which are not considered the traditional norm. 

There are other factors that may contribute to this ideational change too, such as migration of adult-children, availability of foreign domestic workers and other forms of marketised eldercare — nursing homes, for example, or state policies on active ageing.

As such, there is a gradual trend where more Singaporeans are seeking ways to take care of themselves or live independently in their old age. 

One way they are doing so is by delaying or decreasing their reliance on adult-children by living alone or with their spouse in smaller accommodations such as studio flats. Older people generally prefer to live in proximity to their adult-children, while co-residence with them is given much lesser preference. 

Another way elderly Singaporeans are living independently is by seeking care beyond family.

For instance, a 2012 study funded by the National Council of Social Services and Singapore Tote Board on seniors who lived alone found that neighbours and friends — former colleagues, for example, or people befriended during social outings such as karaoke and group exercise events — are able to provide a vital form of support when needed. 

Such examples include when going to see a doctor, doing necessary shopping, or carrying out various household work such as cleaning.

Besides relying on social networks, some older Singaporeans are exploring more unconventional forms of care arrangements, such as co-living with other elderly individuals outside of their family and social circles. 

CNA in March 2023 reported that more seniors are turning to private companies to arrange assisted living for them; such arrangements typically include at least one co-resident (a fellow senior citizen) and a shared caregiver.

Less “traditional” solutions such as these are shaping the future of Singapore’s eldercare landscape. 

CARE THAT PROMOTES WELL-BEING

In this day and age, elderly people living separately from adult-children is not necessarily an indication of failing intergenerational relationships, but that older Singaporeans’ notions of intergenerational reciprocity and sense of independence are transforming. 

Given these subtle and gradual ideational changes, what can be done to provide care that promotes ageing Singaporeans’ sense of well-being? 

Bearing in mind that most older parents might not be comfortable or able to articulate their dissatisfactions, caregivers need to reflect and think more deeply about the underlying reasons for the type of eldercare they provide. 

Are we really addressing a specific need the older person has, or are we doing it because it is a social expectation? Can our well-intentioned acts of care unintentionally reduce the older person’s sense of independence and make them feel obligated to accept “help” they don’t want or need? 

There is no one-size-fits-all answer nor a straightforward one. Yet, attentiveness to older persons’ subjective needs is a skill that both family members and various levels of care providers can develop to address this challenge. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Menusha De Silva is a lecturer at the department of geography, National University of Singapore. Her research examines the intersections of transnational migration and ageing, as well as eldercare relations within transnational families.